by EtherealWinter

This guide is given to every ultraheavy weight by their coach when they start BJJ… or at least should be…

1. The Scissor Sweep is your friend
2. Knee-on-Belly is Knee-on-Soul
3. Never Pull Guard, it kills puppies and your chances won’t bode well for you. Bad Judo and Wrestling are the only options
4. The Stack Pass is the only pass and it’s also a great Triangle Escape
5. Everyone always seems to turn the other cheek, to your Crossface
6. Scarf-hold is not only a pin but also a submission
7. Sweaty-Belly-on-Face is a legit variation of North-South
8. Cross collar or Ezekiel from inside someone’s Guard? Sure why not!
9. Back takes? Pfft, Side Control is king
10. Americana from Side Control is the ultimate submission
11. The Kimura is everywhere
12. When your opponent closes their Guard, just lay on them chest-to-chest until they suffocate
13. Size and Strength can beat Cardio
14. You have friends, they just all seem to disappear in between rounds when you’re looking for a new rolling partner…